Stuart Davis

Stuart 2: Life began when a bolt of lightning struck some protoplasmic soup. You want to make a conscious ommelete? You've gotta break some atmospheric eggs!

Stuart 1: There's an ozone hole the size of a continent!
Stuart 2: Affording fantastic views of the aurora borealis!
Stuart 1: The oceans have become violent! Tsunamis! Hurricanes!
Stuart 2: And surfing has never been more exciting!

Stuart 2: The dodo? A flightless bird? I'm supposed to be bummed out by that? Oh no, what are we going to lose next, a fish that can't swim? Oxymorons should go extinct.